Friendly Folks

smiles come easily to the lovely girls of Nurture Spa

Coming from the Philippines where the people are known to be friendly, I was pleased to move to Australia where the folks here are undoubtedly friendlier. Where the Pinoy seems to wear a permanent smile yet is careful not to make eye contact with strangers much less venture a "Hello" (too bold!), the Aussie is not shy to look you straight in the eye, smile purposely and bid you a warm, non-threatening "G'day, howya goin'?" (g'day is indeed still commonly used in the country, maybe less in the city). It is courteous to give a quick reply "Good, thanks" etc. but you are not expected to carry on a conversation unless you know each other, in which case, it is but polite to stop and chat briefly. It is not uncommon therefore to see folks exchanging pleasantries in the middle of a footpath or hold people up at the supermarket check-out. People behind them usually don't mind the small wait. Woe unto those who show rude behaviour. S/he'll be tagged "feral" (see "Strine II"). In a small town where the six degrees of separation I swear is halved (see "First Step in Aus"), word will spread fast.

my new Aussie mates

Equality seems to be a given among folks here no matter the circumstance. There don't seem to be any rigid rules in choosing whom to socialise with. I love that my husband's family and circle of friends include people from differing walks of life. There's a lawyer, an engineer, a wheeler-dealer, an electrician, a painter, a school principal, a labourer, a builder, a teacher, a truck driver, a farmer, a shopowner, a cleaner, a reptile handler all breaking bread at the same table. No one thinking of himself more highly than the others, at least not in public (he'll be lynched!). The camaraderie is genuine. Income and education, I find, do not define their relationships. How refreshing. 


The cultural difference is obvious yet the significance is quite profound. Pinoys have a social ranking that is still deeply ingrained and even in this modern day and age is still very much observed. This prevents the poor from socialising with the rich and vice versa. Must have started from that darn Spanish era which conditioned the once-proud indigenous Pinoys to believing that they were second-class citizens, indios, therefore unequal to the ilustrados, the white people, and may not raise their eyes to the 'superior' Spanish (swine). Racism in the 1800s was rife and destructive. Sure damaged our national psyche no end. The Pinoy "shyness" must have a psychological history. Also very Asian I reckon. I am not a historian (flunked history in high school), just an keen observer of human behaviour.  

Could it be that the lack of eye contact indicates perhaps the perception of being less than equal? I have observed that to be the case with domestics, and truly the employers exacerbate it. But it could also be a deep sense of humility---not assuming oneself to be equal. I like this idea better. Although, I am not of this mould (I'm more the equal mould), I do appreciate this pinoy trait. Entire movies have been produced dedicated to this theme. Even the great boxer Manny Pacquiao, who has recently been elevated to a global cult hero (and rightly so), calls himself not a congressman but a public servant. You gotta love that humility.
Back to the friendliness of the folks here.....one of the first things I learned to do when learning to drive on the other side of the road was to greet the drivers of oncoming cars. Just a simple wave or even just raising the index finger (no, not the middle finger, unless you're looking for trouble) to acknowledge the other driver (with fleeting eye contact), I thought was a rather nice custom. I discovered that the farther you get from the country, meaning the closer to the city, the less drivers wave at each other. Case of courtesy becoming less common. Everywhere you go though, people will start a conversation with you and I have learned to respond in like cheerful manner. Nice that Aussies don't have the same historical baggage we Pinoys carry. Everyone starts on an equal footing. Everyone has the same opportunity to have a say. There are, however, a certain group of folks that carry on about being disadvantaged despite the many advantages given to them on a silver platter. THAT I cannot comprehend. In time perhaps........